Rudeness

One thing that never fails to cultivate a healthy red rage deep within the chambers of my heart is when customers come up to the desk when I'm clearly helping another person and start talking to me as if no one else is there. I hate when this happens with a passion heretofore unmatched by all other passions to the best of my knowledge, and I've read Manon Lescaut. Not two minutes ago I was speaking with a customer when a self-important skank walked up and started asking me about room rates. My response is always polite externally but internally it runs along the lines of: "I understand that you are a skank but I must ask that any further charming displays of your personality be postponed until a later time, preferably after I go home. NOW F**K OFF BEFORE I SHIV YOU WITH THIS HERE PLASTIC SPORK."
My very favorite part is when they act like "How rude are you?" when I say, "I'll be with you in a moment." Yes, I'm clearly the barbarian in this exchange. How dare I assist customers all willy-nilly on a first-come, first-serve basis? How could I act as though anyone else mattered? I sincerely apologize. Allow me to prostrate myself before you by presenting you with the remains of my skull once the orangutans have been loosed and are finished with me. No? You don't want it?
Oh well. At least it's easy to tell which customers are going to come over and interrupt you because they always exhibit behavior consistent with IHAIT: I'm Here And I'm Trash. It's pronounced "I hate" as in: "I hate skanks but they keep renting hotel rooms." Some examples of IHAIT are:
1. Cranky fewhales (ladies that are not necessarily straight out of Melville as they first appear but are heavy on the breathing and on the demands they make to front desk staff)
2. Over-exposed breasts (attractive-looking or no, always NO) with a blue vein running down the middle like an unholy road map to Easyville
3. Undyed roots or poorly attached hair extensions
4. An annoyingly shrill voice that could pierce medieval armor
5. Eyes that are glazed like pottery due to that evening's considerable whiskey intake
You can use IHAIT in virtually any situation to help you identify potentially troublesome guests. Oh goody, here comes one now. She looks like a cross between the films Ringmaster and Desperately Seeking Susan. Oh IHAIT, you never let me down!