Memo

My boss created a memo book recently for all front desk employees. Every time we come in for a shift, we have to look in the book first to see what gripes she has about us this time. When I came in today there were three new memos and they all had the same basic point: if you ever have a problem, don't try to fix it yourself--just call her and let her figure it out. I think (and this is purely speculation 'cause my brain ain't so good at workin') she's insinuating we're morons.
I personally prefer a more forthright approach. I like to get out the bricks (hence the name) and start chucking them as opposed to simply flicking pebbles. I would have had more respect for a memo that said Dear inbreds: Stop trying to be fully functioning adults because you are in fact ugly, whiny diaper babies. You sicken me in your never-ending yet wholly futile attempts to be adequate front desk personnel. If any problems should ever present themselves you need to call me immediately and let me deal with that s**t instead of f**king around and making everything worse like you always do. When you were born your parents didn't want you and I don't either but I'm stuck with you until the damn laws about how you can't fire a tard start easing up so there we are. My phone number is on the back wall; here's hoping you can dial a f**king phone. Go f**k yourselves, Jackie.
I know she couldn't actually write something that awesome or grammatically correct. But let’s pretend, because it's funnier that way.