Tureen

There was a new sign posted above the time clock today. It said we are not to clock in more than five minutes before our scheduled shift begins; we should either clock out just as early as we clocked in (which you can't do when you're working alone) or we should simply consider that early time to be "volunteer time" because we won't be getting paid for it any more. So now the only question is: is my soulless harpy of a boss aware that she is inspiring a deep and serious red rage inside the heart of every employee she has? Oh, and also, how many days will pass before I finally snap and deliver those much deserved kicks to her face, ribs, and bladder? Only time (and the time clock) will tell.
I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, seeing as how this is the same woman who reminds me of my dementia-ridden, Queen of the Narcissists, you-could-be-in-the-hospital-and-I-am-still-going-to-need-you-to-take-me-to-the-hairdresser grandmother. I don't understand how I keep ending up with such selfish demanding bastards in my life.
Case in point (like you needed another)? Jackie called a little while ago, as she does during every shift, and asked me if there were any problems tonight. I told her the second pool door doesn't lock, and she said, "Oh, that's something we shouldn't tell the customers about...but it's for emergency purposes. Like, suppose we needed to get into the pool really quickly, you know? We couldn't do that if the door was locked, you know?" Okay, let me ponder this for a moment. What type of emergency situation would require "really quick" access to the pool area? A person drowning, perhaps? A person, possibly an unsupervised child, drowning in the pool because the door wasn't locked? At any rate, it's the second pool door that doesn't lock, meaning you would have to run all the way down the hall in order to reach it. It would be faster to just use a key to unlock the first door, which does properly function. In case you couldn't tell, the lack of awareness on this woman's part continues to simultaneously amaze me and rape my already fragile grasp on sanity.
Jackie often reminds me of a zombie. And that's not just because she stares stupidly into space for hours on end or tells me to do things so pointless and retarded that I am tempted to get out the Necronomicon so I can learn about how to defeat her kind once and for all. No, it's really because of the seemingly inhuman way her mind works. Only someone as clueless as my boss would think it was okay that the damn pool door didn't lock. But maybe I should try and be more understanding. I suppose, in her undead mind, bodies floating in the pool is like dumplings bobbing about in a f**king soup tureen. It certainly wouldn't surprise me if she craved brain, since she clearly does not have one of her own.