Quotes

My boss's cell phone died today. I wanted to say to her, "Isn't that funny? You're like twins now. No, wait--your phone isn't a horrible, rotting, flesh-devouring night walker. And, as far as I know, cell phones don't keep working after they've died." But then I thought better of it (being skeletonized by a piranha-mouthed soul reaver is definitely not the way I envision my final moments) and said nothing. However, as everyone knows, zombies can read minds, and unfortunately once she "heard" my internal mouth shootin' out sass she decided to take all the chocolate chip cookies home before I had a chance to grab one. And she doesn't even eat them--she just uses them as bait. Damn! The undead are truly the worst bosses ever.
In other news, I realized that I get a lot of crazy customers around here (wait, there's more). They're so crazy, in fact, that I'm going to start posting their questions, comments, and general verbal baby green diarrhea whenever I feel like it. Enjoy!

Funny Customer Quotes of the Day (a.k.a. FCQD)
1. "I see your 'no pets' sign, but I was just wondering...is that one hundred percent?"

2. "Is someone going to help me with my bags, or do I actually have to get them myself?"

3. "I was just outside and I saw a lot of lights out in your building. That means you have a bunch of empty rooms. And you're still charging seventy-nine dollars? Is that the best you can do?"

4. "I know the hotel across the street said they were sold out, but do you have any pull with them? I mean, can you get us a room over there even if they don't have any?"

5. "All you do is think about yourself! I GOTTA SMOKE!! (I know that was from the other day, but it's so funny it's worth reprinting.)